Recommended Reading from the Center for Healthy Sex and Alex Katehakis, MFT, CST, CSAT

Sexual Dysfunction

Sexual dysfunction refers to any sexual problem that prevents an individual or couple from experiencing the kind of satisfaction they would like from the sexual activities they engage in. These problems usually occur during what experts call the sexual response cycle which includes the excitement (or sexual arousal), plateau, orgasm and resolution phases.

According to estimates, sexual dysfunction occurs in 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men meaning they report some sexually difficulty or dissatisfaction. People are often afraid or hesitant to discuss these issues yet most instances of sexual dysfunction are treatable. Sharing your concerns with your partner and/or a professional is the first step to healing your problem.

Sexual dysfunction can take the form of dissatisfaction with orgasm, erectile difficulties, lack of sexual desire, pain during intercourse, performance anxiety, anorgasmia, (inability to achieve orgasm) premature ejaculation, and fear of intimacy to name a few. In other words, any problem that renders a person feeling less then satisfied with their sexual life that is not a medical problem, can be addressed in sex therapy.

Sexual dysfunction may be caused by physical and/or medical conditions. These conditions include but are not limited to heart and vascular (blood vessel) disease, neurological disorders, diabetes, obesity, hormonal imbalances, chronic diseases, alcoholism, and/or drug abuse. It is also important to remember that many medications have sexual side-effects such as antidepressants drugs. If you have any medical conditions, you should consult your medical doctor before consulting a sex therapist.

Sexual functioning can also become dysfunctional due to psychological stress and anxiety related to work, martial/relationship problems, sexual performance, depression, feelings of guilt, and past sexual trauma. When related to psychological issues, in most cases, sexual dysfunction can be successfully treated.

Low Sexual Desire

Many people, young and old alike, have low sexual desire and it can affect their relationships. Low sexual desire can be distressing to some leading them to seek sex therapy.

Oftentimes, pre-menopausal women or menopausal women will participate in sexual activity less often including initiating sex and having intercourse and may report experiencing orgasm and general sexual pleasure less often than they once did. In other cases, post-menopausal women report having the best sex of their lives because they feel more sexually secure about who they are.

Men may experience low sexual desire due to health concerns, hormonal problems (like low testosterone) or relationship issues. Additionally, many people simply get out of the habit of having sex and are still operating under old ideas that sex is a natural "drive" vs. a cultivated desire for pleasure and connection with oneself and a significant other.

Low sexual desire can come in the form of a person never having felt much sexual desire or interest or in the form of having felt sexual desire, but no longer does. The extreme form of low sexual desire is called sexual aversion, meaning the person lacks sexual desire and finds sex repulsive.

It is very common for partners in a relationship to have different levels of sexual interest with one partner being the "low desire partner" and the other being the "high desire partner." Many times, people become "grid-locked" over these differences leading to power struggles, which exacerbate the problem. Although the two partners have different sexual interest levels, this can be negotiated and resolved in sex therapy.

Sexual Potential

Many normal couples in long-term relationships report sexual boredom and feeling a lack of interest in sex. Often this is the case because people forget that they, and their relationships, are dynamic, ever-changing systems. By reassessing who you are sexually, what you like and want, what you hold back from letting yourself and your partner know; you can begin to work toward your sexual potential. By opening yourself to clearing past resentments and revealing your sexual preferences to your partner, you create a deeper emotional connection that is often not easy, but worth the intimate, electric connection that results in the end.

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